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This is me, sighing.

Maybe this is another case of me being “hypersensitive“, but so be it. If you’re a white person or a particularly assimilated person of color, then you’ll probably think this is a rather harmless video.

You may think it’s funny. Hilarious, even.

If you’re a person of color with even an iota of militancy, or hell, if you’re me then this commercial probably makes you cringe, or just plain annoys you.

But perhaps you’re not entirely sure why. So I’ll tell you why it irritates me, and maybe my explanation will make something click for you.

First of all, it’s cultural appropriation.  Which means that an element of a given culture is taken and used outside of its intended context – worse yet, in blatant opposition to the intended context.

From Wikipedia:

Cultural appropriation is the adoption of some specific elements of one culture by a different cultural group. It describes acculturation or assimilation, but can imply a negative view towards acculturation from a minority culture by a dominant culture. It can include the introduction of forms of dress or personal adornment, music and art, religion, language, or social behavior. These elements, once removed from their indigenous cultural contexts, may take on meanings that are significantly divergent from, or merely less nuanced than, those they originally held.

Hip-hop, and rap in particular, by no measure of historical revisionism or denial of their contributions, is undoubtedly an African-American cultural product.

This, however, does not mean that it belongs exclusively to African-Americans, or that no one else can use it.  The rule, though, is that it should be used in the spirit in which it was intended.  That is, as an expression of positivity, uplift, counter-establishment, or justified anger towards historic and lasting inequality and/or injustice. (more…)

Valentine’s Day is a day that, like all good cynics, I take issue with for all the usual reasons:

1. Why should we only pay special attention to our significant others on a certain day?
2. The holiday is just part of a consumerist scheme to support the “industrial complex”

Blah blah blah.  Whatever.  It’s all true, of course, but I wasn’t going to post anything about it until I came across this promotional offer from XBox Live.  It offers some free Microsoft Points if only you’ll watch one of the offered movies with your loved one on Valentine’s Day.  Sounds like a good deal, except for the wording of the advertisement.

It annoyed me right away on a subliminal level, although it took me a bit of time to rationalize why exactly I took issue with it.  At first it was the dichotomy between those who have “someones” and those who do not.  I must either a sentimental sap who likes frilly pink hearts simply for having a girlfriend, or I’m some chest-pounding “manly-man” type who “don’t need no stinkin’ girlfriend! Guys rule!”  Is that it?

I couldn’t possibly be a guy who is between relationships, or a guy who for the sake of career, livelihood, or personal choice, just doesn’t have a significant other?  I couldn’t be a girl who is single for any of the same reasons?  Or a girl who doesn’t like frilly pink hearts?  I couldn’t be a gay man or woman in a relationship where such cave-painted gender roles aren’t so clearly established?  I couldn’t be a person of any gender and sexual orientation who appreciates a romance movie, even watched in solitude?  Maybe I’m some basement-dweller with the social skills of an empty pizza box and movies are my escape from harsh reality, in which case, thanks for reminding me of that. (more…)

Jigga-who? Jigga-what?

I was in Home Depot for some wood when I stumbled across this delightful product.

If the reference is lost on you, then you might want to check the dictionary.

jig⋅a⋅boo

–noun, plural -boos. Slang: Disparaging and Offensive.
a black person.
Origin: 1905–10, Americanism

Word Origin & History
Insulting name for “a black person,” 1909, perhaps from jig, which had been applied insultingly to persons since the late 18th century, and ending from bugaboo.

After that, you might want to Google it, and find some delightful images and websites.  Like this one.

I could conjecture so much further about the creators’ inspirations and intent. Perhaps the implication is that jig-a-loo is “greasy” – as in dirty, or “slippery”, as in criminal? Even I’ll admit that’s reaching, but you still have to wonder what goes through the minds of companies’ PR representatives when these kinds of things are approved. Do they run some sort of cost-benefit analysis and determine, perhaps, that most of the people who would take offense to this aren’t “likely” homeowners? I could go on forever.

Anyway, I don’t take this too seriously, because this kind of insensitivity is part and parcel of mainstream American society – especially the corporate sector.  It’s just one of those things to make you frown, then make you shrug.

White people on the other hand, just laugh at the funny name, until they realize that jig-a-loo is one hell of a lubricant!

Another Twitter Success Story

I ordered Qwest internet service on Monday, 1/11.  I was told at that time that it would take 3 business days for the order to be completed.  3 days in itself is too long to wait for new service.  I have had the internet regularly for the past 10 years and never have I had to wait so long for new service.  Cox Communications, Verizon, Comcast, AllTel, and Cavalier Telecom all were able to set up service the next day.  As anyone who uses the internet on the verge of excess will tell you, 3 days is a LONG time to wait.

But fine.  The tech was scheduled to arrive between 8am and 12pm. He called around 8:30 to let us know that he would arrive between 10 and 12.  Come 12:15 we haven’t heard anything, so we call him back and he tells us that the work was already done and that he forgot to call us back to inform us.  Minor mistake, it seemed. (more…)

A Twitter Success Story

On Christmas my girlfriend gave me an iPhone – my first – and imagine my excitement. Until two days later when I dropped it on the carpet in an art gallery and the screen cracked. I was pissed, naturally, but not devastated, because the phone had been purchased with Best Buy’s Black Tie Protection Plan.

It was the second iPhone my girlfriend purchased in a month, and like she did the first time, she expressed an interest in the protection plan, because she had enrolled in it for multiple items in the past (such as the two flat screens we bought from BB in August). The BB representative gave her all of the documentation and went through the “recommendation” checklist, also writing down that she would be getting the Black Tie protection. At no time was it mentioned that there were different levels of coverage – particularly that accidental damage – the one we’d be most interested in since the standard warranty covers most other things – wasn’t included in the standard plan. (more…)

So I recently learned that back in 1997, Mattel and Nabisco collaborated to create a product called Oreo Fun Barbie. And in the spirit of equality, of course they made this doll in both black and white versions, not realizing until later – and after much public scrutiny – that they had inadvertently evoked something so racially charged.

Well now, in honor of such a landmark blunder, I’d like to revisit Oreo Fun Barbie, and also introduce her contemporary cousin, Ritz Cracker Barbie.

Disclaimer: Ritz Cracker Barbie is not an actual product of Mattel or Nabisco, but rather a mock-up created by me using Adobe Photoshop.

As a person of modest means I don’t often have the ability or even the inclination to splurge on frivolous purchases. This, along with my general distaste for American consumerism, tends to make me critical of people who spend money on what I consider to be ridiculous and unnecessary things. But today in Whole Foods Market I encountered something that raises the bar on ridiculous products.

Called “Ice Rocks”, it is spring water packaged in soft plastic packaging that looks like an ice tray, with perforations to separate each individual cube of water. So, you buy this box of water, you put it in the freezer, you take it out, separate the number of cubes you want, unwrap them individually, then put them wherever. Just in case the audacity of this product makes it difficult for you to fathom, what I am saying is that some company has put spring water into individually wrapped packages for you to freeze into ice cubes. They have made more complicated one of the easiest things in the world to do, and are charging you five times more money to do so. How much does this brilliant little item cost? About five dollars.

FIVE DOLLARS.

You can buy a gallon of spring water for about a dollar, pour it into an icetray, which also costs a dollar or less (and lasts forever) and then put it in the freezer for the same effect. So what convenience does this product provide that justifies its existence, let alone the hefty price tag? Well, it saves you all that excess time of opening a gallon of water and pouring it into an ice tray, of course! Nevermind the time it takes to separate and individually open the ice cubes, though. Seriously, if anyone has purchased this product for any reason other than as a hilarious novelty, they’re either a complete moron, or a hopeless slave to consumerism.